Loosing

I'm down again..
Yeah...Again...

Because not getting his call?
Because not getting his news?
Because not getting the desire from him?

Undoubtedly, I'm disappointed,
Is a kind of feeling that I'm not willing to have,
And the feeling I never expect, neither suppose not to have!

The relationship is irregular,
Yes, both of us knew..
But who make it happened?
What make it happened?

Oh god, guide me a direction please..
I'm not willing to preserve..
But, who gonna to help me..
To control my mind,
To control my soul?

I have out of control....

Suffocation

"The only thing I can do is..be a responsible guy.."

Be a responsible guy?
What does he means? Towards her or me?

Ya, I should know..
From his blog, from not getting his call...
I should know, right?

The sickness still disturbing me,
Without any reason..without any efficient medicine...

Urgh...What am i doing now?
Stupid!
Yes, I'm.. Stupid!

A sucks felling and atmosphere around me..
Get away! Please. Get. Away!!

Oh my god....
I am gonna to suffocate..
My heart is beating fast again..
My hands are trembling again..
My body is shuddering again...

Oh god..Help!! Help!!

Give me fresh air..
Let me breath smoothly...
Save me, please!

Depressing..

Depressing..
Yeah, I am depressing ..
But why?？

Have a bad feeling now..
You know, is a kind of feeling which i am unable to express ..unable to describe..
I can only do nothing, with the unwell feeling...

But...Why???